Kerala Pt 2 - Munnar - Periyar - Kumarakom (15 - 19 Dec)

Halo Backwaters have put together a great trip for us - Philip is there waiting to collect us from the houseboat to drive us up to the cool Hill Station of Munnar. We head up into the mountains past waterfalls, rivers and tea plantation after tea plantation. Its a beautiful drive and again shows the contrasts that exist throughout India. Even the driving is slightly better in this part of the country, although, there are still plenty of hair raising moments!

Meeta and Graham arent due into Munnar until late, so once we get checked into our hotel, we're out for a curry and early to bed.

Next morning we are up early for a day of sight seeing. The whole area has stunning scenery, cloudy mountain tops, with tea bushes for miles and miles. We start the day at the local garden centre. The climate in this region offers perfect growing conditions for all types of flowers and plants - its just like an English country garden really, but once again, Luce & I are the main attraction for the locals. One baby girl in particular is transfixed by us, her brown eyes wide in bewilderment at these white noses. She is handed over for the obligatory picture, which opens the door for the other family to ask the same, but the slightly older boy is terrified by Luce and streams in terror! After a brief stop to watch some ladies picking tea we pass by a dam and a Lake keeping an eye out for wild elephants who roam this part of the forest. We dont see one, but see the dung that proves they do exist! We stop off at Echo point to shout out at the forest and hear it call back...

Indians are rightly proud of this area, and it is such a contrast to the rest of the dusty country, but it reminds us of the Lake District, and sadly the weather is also straight out of Cumbria when we reach the top station. What should be stunning views across the Munnar valley is sadly cloud - its like being in a proper pea-soup fog back home, and we cant see 5m in front of us! We decide against trekking through the dense cloud, especially as it starts to rain. They do have delicious road side passion fruit on sale though.

In the afternoon, we head up to the Eravikulam National Park, which is home to a rare Mountain Goat, the Nilgiri tahr, of which there are few pottering around munching on the bushes at the side of the path. After one of the best curries we have had (and also one of the cheapest) we have a beer with Meeta & Graham and the family, and they very politely look at all of our pictures from India - we realise that we need to do a bit of editing before other friends and family endure our travels of the past 4 months!

Its a glorious morning the next day for our drive over to Periyar Nature reserve and the views across the tea plantations are stunning - you certainly wouldn't get those in the Lake District! Its a good 3 hours drive in Philip's classic Ambassador, he is a great guide pointing out bee hives, rubber trees, all sorts of titbits to keep us interested. We stop off for a ride on a elephant - not the most comfortable rides ever, but great fun plodding through the rainforest (sometimes literally) There is a baby elephant celebrating its second birthday who is very very cute, but we cant help feeling that its a little cruel, the amount of space that they have to roam in...

The nature reserve is a bit of a disappointment. We file onto one of the boats for a cruise around the waterways. Its a pretty expensive trip but we get to see some bison, deer, mongeese (mongooses?) and plenty of birds, but we are at some distance from them. However, all is forgotten when we go for Ayurvedic massage - a wedding treat from Meeta and Graham. The warm oil dripping on your head is a lot more relaxing than it sounds, and is to be recommended to everyone. If we had any stresses, they would have been lifted instantly. Its all that we can manage to have a curry and wonder how we are going to manage without a daily curry fix...

The next and final stop on our Keralan tour is Kumarakom, and we are back down near the hot and sticky backwaters. Its been nice to be up in the hills and get some cooling air, but we are looking forward to getting back to the sun, and away from weather more typical of the UK. Philip once again has some treats up his sleeve and we stop off at a surprisingly interesting spice plantation, a tea factory (very exciting for Luce) and also get up close to some rubber trees to pull off the sap that goes to make rubber (who would have thought?!) We also strike it lucky and spot a working elephant at the side of the road pulling some logs. The strength and ingenuity is astounding. Using his trunk, he wraps a rope around his jaw (we think, but cant see right inside his mouth.) The other end is chained to an enormous tree trunk, which he then hauls out into the road, and then with traffic carrying on around him, he hauls it along the road. Brilliant, and one of the best things about India - who knows what will be happening around the next corner?

Our last night resort is in beautiful setting next to the backwater, surrounded by palms with houseboats put-putting by. We have a cute cottage overlooking the pool and the water, the weather is the only let down to what would be a fitting final day in India, so instead we get Philip to drive us over to the Taj Hotel to meet Graham, Meeta & Arnie for drinks.

Kerala Pt 1 - Kochi - Allapuzha Houseboat (10 - 15 Dec)

Our last overnight train in India passes without incident apart from discovering that banana chips are one of the best station snacks available and cashew nuts taste a whole lot better!

Kochi is a series of islands linked by bridges and ferries. We take a cab over from the station to Fort Kochi, where we staying with Prem and his family in their extension. The room is pretty basic, but we are in the centre of Fort Kochi which is where the main focus of tourist activity is. Fort Kochi has a feel of Southern Europe, chilled out much slower pace of life than in the North of India, and its nice to wander around past churches, tidier streets and along the waterfront, past enormous Chinese fishing nets which are a Keralan tradition.

We spend the evening at the Khatakhali - traditional Keralan theatre that is like nothing else. We watch the actors get make up done first. They are heavily made up and the lead has big chops built up to give him a 3D effect. The show itself lasts fir 6+hours, but we are just seeing a part of the story. There is no speaking, just drums and chimes, and the actors overact out scenes telling the story in time with the beat. Its oddly enjoyable, but utterly bewildering. Fortunately we have a programme guide which outlines the story for us. Scenes that would take 10 mins in Western theatre last for an hour an a half in Khatakhali...

Next morning, we hire the knackiest old scooter in the world. It gets us up to Cherai beach though, which the Lonely Planet calls Kochi's hidden gem. Its a beautiful beach about 25kms north of the city, and wonderfully quiet. Its not a patch on the beaches in North Goa though, but its a nice ride out, and a good beer watching sunset moment...

We spent our last day in Kochi mooching around, taking the local ferry over to the main land (Ernakulam) and back via Willingdon Island, where there has been a huge boat race stopping over as part of the round the world race. The boats have left in the afternoon, so we missed the party once again. We find a fantastic restaurant for supper - we're out for a treat so even splash out on a bottle of wine (which we have to buy from next door and hide while we drink it!) Its chicken tikka and crab Ulaya.... (cant remember the full, long name, but it was delicious!) The local bar shuts at 1030 and we are left with a couple of Irish guys who we cant understand, and a guy from Sheffield, so we head off home meeting some guys putting up a banner for their new restaurant outside the Khatakhali theatre, obviously aiming for the tourist market.

Next morning we are up early to be collected by Philip in his ancient Ambassador car. He is to be our driver for our last few days in India, and its a real treat to be chauffeured around Kerala for the next week. Its odd thinking of going back to the UK - there is a feeling that it is the end of the holiday, but we are only going to be in the UK for 4 days, and then its off again. I guess that we are also sad to be leaving India, as it has been tonnes of fun over the last 6 weeks.

Before we go though, we have one the best days of all - a houseboat around the Keralan backwaters is an essential part of any trip to India. We are the only two on board a luxury boat, with three crew to look after us. The boat is bigger than anywhere else that we have stayed, and we settle in the open air lounge area as our captain negotiates us away from the port. Its nowhere near isolation, but the scenery is stunning. We slowly pass by the palm and banana tree lined waters with blue sky and the sun peeking through, Its idyllic, and clam and peaceful. The perfect relaxation. Lunch is served on a banana leaf, and there is enough for four people, so perfect for us. In the afternoon we pass alongside thin spits of land that are full of palm trees - sprouting up seemingly floating on the water. There are also small communities of people living on the narrow stretches of land, churches, temples shops. Its a fascinating afternoon, and all too soon we park up for the evening, sadly in the site of a busy roadbridge up ahead. Supper more than makes up for it (even though we have to use plates.)

Next morning we are up to watch the sunrise over the backwaters - another breathtaking experience, and worth the early start. After breakfast we head back to port, and although its like houseboat gridlock getting back, nothing can spoil the last 24 hours...

Goa (29 Nov - 10 Dec)

The journey from Amritsar is pretty long, but all goes smoothly - apart from the luggage Nazi at checkin in Delhi airport who tries to charge us for overweight baggage. In future we will stick to flying with Kingfisher airline, not miserable in a Ryanair-style way Go Air... We're pleased to arrive at Villa Anjuna after 24hrs on the road and find a Goan curry

We soon decide to extend our week in Goa and miss out going to Hampi as lounging on the beach or by the pool is a real treat after missioning around the rest of India staying two or three nights in each place. Its nice to actually unpack our bags and spread out safe in the knowledge that we wont have to pack up anytime soon.

The further North in Goa, the better the beaches. We hire a scooter so can explore at will. Also the further North, the fewer hassles from people selling their wares on the beach, and also the fewer cows trying to steal your fruit - they also apparently like paper so need to keep an eye on your book too. Morjim is our favourite beach - if only for the name and Mandrem which is the Goan beach that you see in the brochures.

Further South, is the package holiday destinations of Baga and Calangute, which are pretty ugly in a Costa Del Sol kind of way, over developed and lots of hassles and unwanted attention. The development seems to be increasing unchecked, and its a tragedy to see rubbish tipped all over, destroying the coastline. We disappointingly notice a few Indian tourists who leave their empty water bottles on the sand, but then there are so few bins, and no sign of any collection that its easier to understand their lack of education. Baga is also the centre for timeshare selling. We decide to go along to one place when Luce "wins" one of their main prizes (turns out to be a week's stay at the resort) and Jim "wins" one of the runner's up prize (restaurant voucher.) The plan is to go along, listen to their spiel for a bit, and then use their 5* facilities, but their pool is in the shade, so we use the restaurant voucher and head home for sunset. We actually quite enjoyed chatting to Mike the salesman - obviously we've been on our own too much.

Goa also has some fantastic restaurants. The aptly named Sublime, which has beef on the menu (no problem with sacred cows here) and enough beach side places to have curry or fresh fish and watch the sun go down. Beer is also cheaper here than the rest of India, which just adds to the temptation - Paradiso night club is just a stone's throw away from our hotel, but after one serious night out there, Jim still insists on getting a taxi the 100m home. Its easy to make friends in Paradiso - we hang out with Cathy and Jenny who work around the corner from us in London who are a good laugh, and enjoy going for hangover pizza.

All too soon our time in Goa is over but we're off further South, where the sun is definitely still shining to Kochi, and to meet with Meeta & Graham...

Amritsar 26-28 Nov

We arrive in Amritsar at about 1000am and its a bit chilly. We're greeted by a host of taxi and rickshaw drivers, but our hotel is almost opposite the station so we bowl them out of the way like skittles on the way past. After a spot of breakfast, we head down to the Golden Temple - the main site of Amritsar and the most holy shrine of the Sikh religion. Its a pretty impressive site, and packed with Sikhs visiting the original copy of their Bible, praying and bathing in the pool surrounding the temple. Its a bit overcast so we dont get the full effect of the sun shining on the gold, but its still an impressive site and the Hindu script embossed in gold is truly stunning. Everyone inside has their shoes off and their heads covered, and are very VERY pleased to see us.

Amritsar is a very polluted city - seemingly more than any other city that we have visited, and thus not the most pleasant to wander around. After a stop off for a Dosa, whch is similar to a crepe, but filled with curried veg, we give up trying to find anothe temple as the map in the Lonely Planet is pretty useless.

That evening, the terrorist attack in Mumbai begins - at first its reported as gang battles along the Colaba causeway, where we spent our first night in India. We had curry in Leopold's restaurant which later turns out to be the start of the indescriminate, random shooting and had drinks in the bar at the Taj Mahal Hotel. We're thankful that we are three weeks further on in our trip, and saddened that places where we had such fun and happy times will never be the same again.

The other major site to visit in Amritsar is the closing ceremony at the border gate with Pakistan. Every day, just before sunset, 1000s of people gather on both sides of the gate trying to out-sing, out-dance and out-generally-have-a-good-time each other. Flags are waved and loud music blares out in advance of the military procession. After a brief shake of hands and salute between one soldier from each side, there is much gesticulating, staring and stamping of feet, before the various flags are brought down, and returned to barracks until the next day. Its one of the most comedy, unusual, fascinating things that we have seen - and probably the closest that we will ever get to Pakistan! We head back in our rickshaw which is a long old ride and celebrate with a 6 dish dinner including a delicious lamb cooked in spinach special.

We're looking forward to heading down to the beach in Goa after touring big cities and towns around India, but have to get back to Delhi to catch a flight. We're putting our faith into Indian rail that it will get us there in time, but have allowed a 4 hour window for delays. We spend our last day in Amritsar wandering around the slightly less polluted New town, visiting a temple, and trying to visit a museum, but the lonely planet map fails us once more!

Meanwhile the problems in Mumbai continue. Its interesting hearing how the UK is reporting that UK and American citizens were targeted - this is not the impression that Indian TV gives - it seems much more indiscriminate - attacking 5* hotels to ensure coverage across the globe, but no-one seems sure of their aims, demands or purpose. But its not comforting knowing that it is still ongoing after 48 hours, and that any Westerners are targets. We'll certainly be more on our guard around main tourist spots and avoid potential hotspots...

Agra & Delhi (20th-25th Nov)

The day after the Taj is a bit hazy, so we decide to skip the fort in the hope of good weather the following day. There isnt a great deal else to do in and around the Taj - there is a Taj nature walk, and a 5* hotel to take afternoon tea, and plenty of internet cafes (but no wifi), and our roof top bar to have beer and curry.

Thursday we wander down to the fort, which is an interesting place to spend a couple of hours - and look at the views of the other side of the Taj. Shah Jahan, who built the Taj in 1766 as a memorial to his second wife Mumtaz, was imprisoned in the fort by his son Aurangzheb, and could only look out from here to his creation. The immediate area outside the Taj complex is pretty ropey, lots of backpacker places (which do a pretty good curry for next to nothing) dusty roads, smelly camels and cows, and not a lot of relief from salesmen tempting us with their tat. At least there are no motorised rickshaw drivers asking us where we're going - all diesel vehicles are banned within 500m of the Taj to protect it from environmental destruction. We do find some good curry a little further away though!

Next morning, we're up early to get the train to Delhi. Its only a couple of hours late, which isnt too bad. We chose a hotel a little out from the centre in the middle class area of Karol Bargh. We're just off the high street, which is notable for nothing other than the lack of shop assistants hassling us and trying to get us into their shops and a nice bakery with lots of treats to keep us going. There is a metro station at the end of our road which offers an easy trip into town, even though we have to pass through airport style security (separate short queue for women and enormous one for men.) Connaught Place is the centre for shopping, eating and drinking, and we find a bar with loud music, TV screens showing sport and beer on draught, a real treat, even though we would normally avoid such places like the plague. After dinner next door, we head back to the bar to watch premier league football, and have to run to catch the last metro.

We spend our first full day in Delhi exploring the Old Town. Its an easy metro ride to Chandni Chowk a huge bustling street of bazaar selling everything possible, with the Red Fort at one end. The fort is a huge complex that is a bit of an oasis amongst the bustle, but we're a bit over forts having seen so many over the past few days, that we dont hang around for too long, and head over to the Jama Masjid mosque, the biggest in India. We blag our way past a guy who is trying to charge us 200 rupees to bring in our camera but dienst seem to be bothering the 100s of Indians who are bringing in their mobile phones and merrily snapping away. Its an imposing complex - we climb one of the minarets, which is way too small for the number of people up there. Obviously Health & Safety hasnt quite reached Delhi yet.

Next stop is Raj Ghat - we're walking everywhere much to the disappointment and incomprehension of the cycle and auto-rickshaw drivers. Raj Ghat is a simple platform of black marble which marks the site of Ghandi's cremation. We're back over to Connaught Place to enjoy the sunset from a 24 story revolving restaurant. Its a bit hazy to see too much, but at least we're in the area to go back to the sports bar and watch Sunderland lose at football, and England lose to cricket. We make some friends with some Indian cricket fans, one of whom went to Lancaster University, and advises us that Philippines has the best weed in the world, and also cant understand why we're going everywhere in rickshaws, rather than cabs (they're dirt cheap, thats why) Its a bit of a late finish, so we get a very expensive cab home...

After the hustle bustle dust and smells of the Old city, we head to the New City on Monday around the India gate and the government buildings, which were all designed by the British architect Lutyens during the British rule. Its a nice change, and good to see the open spaces of the lawns, and hedges which are well trimmed. To counter the hangovers we find a great lunch venue, and have one of the biggest currys so far (and also one of the best yet) before heading home to doze in front of the film channel, and use the hotel's wifi.

Our train North to Amritsar goes overnight, so we have a day to kill in Delhi. We head out to the Lotus temple, which was recommended by the couple from the train from Jaisalmer to Jaipur. Its a modern place, rather beautiful a good hour away from our hotel. Its the centre of Bahai worship, an all welcoming religion that says that we should all be friendly and happy with each other, and all sounds pretty lovely and tree hugging. Read a bit further though, and ends up sounding a bit like communism - removing extreme wealth and extreme poverty etc. There are lots of school trips wandering around - the highlight for one girl's school seems to be when Luce says hello to them - its then as if Britney Spears is in town the amount of excitement and attention given to Luce.

We also squeeze in a visit to Humayun's tomb, built in advance of the Taj, but not a lot dissimilar to the white marble in Agra. Its a pleasant place to spend some time, but we have to head back to collect our bags and return to the station to get the train. We're only an hour late before leaving the station heading North to the Punjab, and Amritsar. We did find a good selection of curry pies to keep us going while we waited though!

The Taj Mahal Nov 19th

We're up early on the train to Agra from Jaipur, even though it arrives a couple of hours late, we are still in time to get to the Taj in time for sunset. Our hotel has a great rooftop restaurant to sit and gawp at the Taj over a beer but we've hit it lucky as its World Heritage Day which means that its free to get in, so we don't hang around and waltz through past the ticket office. The Taj is stunning - beautiful and serene, and pretty perfect in every aspect, apart from the crowds of tourists

Watching the sunset is one of the most memorable and breathtaking experiences that we have had so far. The colour of the building changes by the minute, and more and more tourists leave - we're one of the last to be ushered out by security.

The Taj isn't lit up by night, but we find another roof top bar to sit on and gaze into the darkness over a couple of beers...

Jodhpur - Jaisalmer - Jaipur (11-19 Nov)

Jodhpur - Jaisalmer - Jaipur

The bus to Jodhpur is a bit of a boneshaking experience... We're part of the entertainment for the seemingly hundreds of people packed onto the bus, and squeezed into the sleeping compartments where you would expect luggage racks to be. There are few to no trains from Udaipur so the bus is the only option. We get to Jodhpur safely though and transfer take a rickshaw to our hotel which is in a quiet street away from the hustle, bustle, pollution and the hassle on the street. The further we get into India, the more obvious the poverty becomes with people living and begging on the street, the more the smells purvey everything, and the more cows seem to be roaming the streets.

Although out of the centre of town, our hostel is near to some decent restaurants, so we dig in to more curry - back on the meat now after veg only in Udiapur. The main attraction in Jodhpur is the fort, sitting on a hill looking down on the city, and it is stunning. The views are magnificent, most of the houses are painted a pale blue, which scares off mosquitoes and also keeps the building cool. The fort is full of the history of the Maharajas of Jodhpur (and how jodphurs came to exist due to their penchant for playing polo), and some great views across the city - its obvious why Jodhpur is called the blue city...

The rest of the city is based around the central bazaar which seems to sell every piece of tat that you could possible want alongside some aubergines and chai - everywhere sells chai. We wanted to stay an extra day in our hostel to chill out on the roof, but they are fully booked, so hurriedly sort out our bus to Jaisalmer - the train is fully booked, and decide to move on the next morning.

Even more people seem to be crammed onto to the Jodhpur - Jaisalmer bus, and there are dozens of people travelling on the roof! At least the roads are a bit better to Jaisalmer, and we're a little less shaken up when we arrive in what feels like the back of beyond. We're pleased to have someone from our hotel meet us as there are loads of touts waiting at the bus stand to tempt us to their brother's hotel where they will bag a large commission. Somehow they have got from our man that he is waiting for James, so there are about 8 people all saying "Are you James?" The man in the know also has the surname. Its a tricky old business getting to a hotel safely...

Jaisalmer is in the middle of the desert, near the border with Pakistan, and the military are very much present. We hear jets patrolling the skies, and are aware of plenty of soldiers on the street. It properly feels though like the furthest we have been from civilisation, so there is only one thing for it, find somewhere for a beer. We're not the only tourists in town, and find a load of Germans, and French are doing the same thing - having a beer while watching the sunset.

Jaisalmer is another fort-town, this time built from sandstone, giving the town a golden glow. It a well laid presented fort, and again has some stunning views, even though it is a little hazy. The streets around are a huge bazaar, where everyone wants to take your rupees. Its starting to get tiring again, the relentless questioning about where we're from, and the begging is much more obvious and in your face, children tapping your arm as they walk alongside you asking for money. There's little else in Jaisalmer, and it feels like we have come a long way out to the desert, as we arent interested in going on one of the ubiquitous camel safaris advertised everywhere, but we do find a great restaurant for more curry that evening! There are a couple of decent restaurants, in one of which we almost experience a true Goodness Gracious Me moment when the Indian guys on the table next to us order the blandest food on the menu - chicken in a basket!

Saturday in Jaisalmer, and we are planning the crazy time of getting on the overnight train to Jaipur. We kill the morning in the internet cafe, and for lunch have an amazing tandoori mixed pate of chicken, paneer and veg koftas to set us up for the 13 hr train journey, which passes off quite uneventfully - the trains in India are 100 times better than the trains in Egypt - better organised, everyone has their seat and bunk bed, leave on time, and arrive only about 20 mins late, and we have good chat with an Indian couple who have been to Jaisalmer for the weekend, and now returning to Delhi.

We arrive in Jaipur at 500am, and are not really up for the stares (particularly Luce) or the hassle from the rickshaw drivers, who want to take us somewhere else, not where we have reserved, but we dont let them. I dont think that they had planned on dealing with us at 500am! Understandably, our hotel is all in darkness when we get there, but once we ring the bell, we are shown to our room, and catch up with a bit more sleep.

Jaipur is the pink city - although I would say it is more of a burnt orange. We're not at our best, and get very quickly frustrated by the constant hassling to jump in a rickshaw or hand over cash, but have a good explore around the enormous city palace.

Next day we hire a driver to take us out of town to the magnificent fort at Amber, the Jaigarh fort with great views back to Amber, and also the Narhargarh, which has great views back to Jaipur - having a driver is a great treat, and sure beats having to negotiate all of the 'up' by ourselves! We've been recommended an out of town evening event at the Chokhi Dani - you get dinner and there are all sorts of entertainments so we decide to give it a go. Its more than a little bizarre, with elephant rides, dancers, camel rides, magicians and all sorts. Firmly for the family audience, we are not up for participation, and soon get our car to take us back to Jaipur.

The last day is the pink city is birthday! Its an expensive start to the day as I've trodden on my glasses and have to pay for a new pair. Fortunately, Indian opticians are as quick as UK, so I can soon see again! We spend the afternoon pottering around the rest of the city - Palace of the WInds, which is an ornately decorated in the cetre of the town for the ladies to watch what is going on in the streets below, and the Jantar mantar - a huge observatory with enormous for watching the stars... We dont really understand it! Having had enough curry to last a lifetime, we go out for pizza instead - a cute rooftop restaurant, which doesnt have a booze licence, but gets round that little problem by serving beer in a teapot with a pair of mugs. Odd to say the least.

We're leaving Rajasthan and all its forts and palaces to go to Agra, and the Taj Mahal next up...

Mumbai - Udaipur (Nov 5th - 10th)

Mumbai - Udaipur

We're pretty exhausted by the time we land in the baking heat of Mumbai after flying through the night. Egyptair aren't bad, but the food they serve up is atrocious! We're expecting the worst in terms of hassles when we land, but are pleasantly surprised to find a modern airport that we pass through easily, prepay for our taxi down to the Southern tip of Mumbai, Colaba where our hotel is, and set off without being asked once where we are from. Its a good hour and a bit through the sprawl of Mumbai to get to our hotel. I remember slums along the airport road from when I was here 12 years ago, but they have either been moved on, cleared up or a new road has been built as there is no sign, just a lot of advertising hoardings, and beeping traffic.

We get to our hotel and are pleased to be offered a huge room in an old colonial house, with the biggest bed we have seen, and a TV to learn of Barack Obama's success (yes we can accept...) After a siesta we wander around Colaba to the Gateway To India, covered in scaffolding built to commemorate King George V's royal visit in 1911. We find a good place for our first curry of the visit, and look forward to many more.

It takes a while to get going the next morning, especially as the internet is against us trying to book flights up to Udaipur. We've decided that 16hrs on the bus is not really an option, when an hours flight will get us where we want to go! Later that afternoon, we take a boat from the Gateway over to Elephanta Island, about 9kms through Mumbai Harbour. There are some fascinating cave carvings to gods, and some very cheeky monkeys.

Mumbai is full of bars and restaurants that wouldn't be out of place in London, and we start our evening with cocktails in Busaba - we're the first in, but its a great bar, with fab cocktails. Then next door for dinner at Indigo, a truly first class place, although Indian wine isn't up to much (and is expensive.) We finish the night with a Bombay Sapphire (natch) in the Taj Palace Hotel - a 5* jobby opposite the Gateway. Compared to the places that we've been in earlier that night, its a bit bland (the hotel, not the gin)

Feeling a little under the weather the next day, we take the easy way out and book our flights with a travel agent - they're cheaper than online, so everyone is a winner. Its probably the hottest day of the trip, but we set off on our walking tour of the city. There is a good swathe of interesting architecture with art deco cinemas opposite gothic court buildings, and Hogwarts-esque university. In the middle of it all, on the oval are games of cricket with the players in full whites. The British influence is still plain to see - St Thomas' Cathedral is the oldest English building standing - and is an oasis of calm amongst the beeping bustle outside. Its also full of fascinating tombs of old Generals who fought alongside Nelson, and young soldiers who died from malaria.

We make a beeline to a restaurant with fierce A/C to cool off - its the Tea Centre so Luce is happy (although they don't do cold milk for her tea, they do a mean curry.) We jump on the suburban train for the princely sum of about 3p to go up to Mahalaxmi, which is home to the biggest outside human powered washing machine - its all blokes doing the work, thrashing whites around in lines and lines of enormous washing trenches - all the washing hanging up looks immaculately clean, but you wouldn't fancy getting all the buttons back! We're a bit out of the main centre, and this is the first time we get really hassled by beggars - with little kids tapping our arms asking for money, so we head back to the station and go back towards the centre, but jump off to visit the Ghandi museum at the house where he used to stay when in Mumbai. Its quite interesting seeing his letters to Hitler during the war, and also to Roosevelt, giving an idea of his utter disdain for the British rule in India.

We're down at Chowpatty beach with plenty of other Mumbaikers for sunset. As usual, we provide the entertainment for most people, but they seem happy just to shyly say hello and run off - much less imposing than the Egyptians. The Lonely Planet recommends stopping for a snack of Bhel Puri, and as it is food related, we jump on board. Its an odd, but quite pleasant mix of puffed rice, noodles chutney and other stuff! After a walk along the promenade, we jump a cab back to the hotel to pack ready for the flight up to Udaipur the next day. We both agree that Mumbai is a fantastic place, and a wonderful introduction to an India much less imposing than we had feared. Its a city that is obviously on the up - the Middle classes are on the rise - GQ India (Daniel Craig cover) and Vogue India (Posh Spice in hilarious Indian wedding cover "I feel very Indian") are advertised everywhere (we pick up a copy of each - and they are full of high end advertising aimed at cash fuelled 20-30 somethings.) The bars and restaurants are all aimed at having a good time, and some are dead cheap and amazing value. Its easy though to spend a fortune too (but for great quality) and we have, so are hoping to save some budget over the next couple of days and get back on track.

We're flying with Kingfisher up to Udaipur - but sadly no complimentary beer. Ali, our driver from the airport tells us about how he worked as production driver on Octopussy, Ghandi and Jewel in the Crown, which were all filmed in Udaipur. He wouldn't make it as a production driver anymore, as he was mental behind the wheel!

Udaipur is a stunning city on the banks of Lake Pichola, with two island palaces to take endless pictures of, in addition to the mainland Palace looking out over them. It reminds us of Lake Bled in Slovenia, but is a bit warmer, and many more tourists. We stop for dinner at a roof top lakeside restaurant, and the view of the palaces all lit up is breathtaking, which is just as well as the food is pretty bland! There are lots of little shops selling all the tourist tat ever required, and the hassle level is increased somewhat, but the Indian people seem so much more friendly that the Arabs, so we can almost forgive them, and find a good bar to chill out over a couple of beers.

Sunday 9th November is a lazy Sunday morning before we head out to the City Palace and have a good explore around all of the various rooms, courtyards and additional museums (with some great pictures of ex-rulers of Udaipur who seem to try and outdo their ancestors in the moustache arena...) Every window has another stunning view out over the lake or over the town.

We take a boat around the lake, and the views back to the City palace are equally as breathtaking -we're thankful for digital cameras, otherwise we would spend a fortune on developing film. As we're staying in the budget Khumba Palace, we cant get off the boat to look around the 5* Lake Palace Hotel (don't they know who we think we are?) but enjoy mooching around the Jagwandir Palace grounds, which has stunning views over the other palaces.

We're back on the mainland in time to order sunset drinks, and a small curry to keep us going. This sunset is probably the most breathtaking sight we have seen - the colours over the lake are magical, all with the delightful Lake Palace in the foreground. As magnificent is the City Palace which takes on a pink/ochre colour as the sun goes down. Mind-blowing.

We don't want to go for a bland tourist meal again, so have been recommended the place where Indians go if they cant cook at home. En route, we stop by the Maharaja's classic car collection, and have an escorted tour of the 30 or so vehicles kept in immaculate condition for the Maharaja to use. He's got a superb RR phantom (used in Octopussy) in addition to Mercs from the 50s, Rolls Royce safari vehicles and a Morris Minor. The chap who shows us around is so proud of the collection, and obviously takes great pride in keeping them ready to go at a moment's notice. We jump a rickshaw to the restaurant which is miles from the main tourist drag. Its perfect - all you can eat thali, guys come round with pots of veggie food and fill up your plate until you cat eat anymore. We've been learning Hindi words for food, so can impress the waiters with naming bindi (okra) paneer (cottage cheese) aloo (potato.) We seem to get bonus attention from the waiters as we're the only blondies in there, and an Indian girl comes over to chat to us, and help us out. Apparently her whole family had a great time watching us wondering what was happening, and then cautiously tasting each dish, before deciding, yeah this is great and digging in! All in all some great experiences today - probably the best day so far

Monday morning in Udaipur is spent over breakfast of poached eggs on toast and porridge, and a read of our books in the garden, before we set off to go on our Indian cookery course via a little museum that houses the world's biggest turban, which must be number two on the things to see in India after the Taj Mahal. Our host and teacher for the afternoon is Vijay Singh - who like his golfing namesake also excels in sport - he is a Swimming and Water Polo national champion and has the pictures up on the wall in his house of him meeting the president at the height of his butterflying prowess. He takes us out to his house on his motorbike, which is a bit hairy, but an interesting drive with the both of us on the back. Don't think that the scooter would manage 3 passengers, but the cows that we pass don't bat an eyelid. We guess that Vijay is from the wealthier side of town, he has a big house, where he lives with his wife, mother and the rest of his family.

As well as a proficient swimmer, Vijay is a great chef, and rustles us some delicious veggie pakora, and curries that we're looking forward to try and create back in London. His wife potters around in the background looking after their daughter, and doing bits of washing up, and his mother watches some classic Indian drama on the TV in the lounge. Vijay's talents also stretch to a bit of palm reading - he doesn't pretend to be any sort of professional, but I'm due to have more money than I know what to do with when I'm 35, and will have 2 kids - a boy first then a girl. Luce is also going to have 2 kids, so that's a relief, and she is very honest. We spend about 4 hours with the Singh family, and then weighing substantially more jump back on the bike to return to town.

We're back on the tourist trail to see some local dancing that evening the piece de resistance of which is the woman re-enacting the ancient dance of the nine bowls from Western Rajasthan. This is a desert area, with a lack of water, so the women used to carry 9 bowls on their heads full of water. Anyway, its a great piece of tourist tat. We've got an early bus to next stop, Jodhpur, which has a lot to live up to. Udaipur is a stunning place - both in scenery and activities, which as they all revolve around food, and in particularly curry are right up our street. Its also amazing value, and our budget is stretching a lot further, meaning more treats to come!

Slow trains, temples, tombs and sailing along the Nile

We've a bit of time to kill in Cairo until the overnight train to Aswan leaves at 1000pm, so we elect to have a lazy morning, sorting out our bags for our week away touring Southern Egypt, and organising our flights to get us down to India. After a couple of false starts on getting to India, we find cheaper and direct flights to Mumbai, so opt to go there instead of Delhi first up. There's a couple of showers in the air, but once they have gone we head up the Cairo Tower which sits on an island in the middle of the Nile, and offers great views over the city and to the Pyramids at Giza through the smoggy pollution.

After a pizza for late lunch we wander through a couple of shopping malls, and find a cinema that offers the promise of the new James Bond, but not until next week when we are in India, so instead we enjoy the sunset along the Nile, and a beer in the Hilton. Its not easy wasting time when on a budget.

The train leaves about 10 mins late from Ramses station. We're in 1st Class on a 13 hr trip, and paid about £12 for the privilege. Its surprisingly comfortable - similar size seats and legroom to business class. Apart from the snoring Egyptian, chatty French girls and the fact that the lights are left on, we sleep surprisingly well. The next day though, we slowly come to realise that as the train trundles along, we haven't made quite as much progress as we had hoped through the night, and are still a long way from our destination. We eventually pull in a frustrating 6 hours late having finished our books, and planned at great length our route around India. After a stroll along the Nile admiring the dusky views, and a spot of birthday dinner, we're back to the hotel as we're getting up at 300am the next day to join the convoy to Abu Simbel.

Abu Simbel is an enormous temple commissioned by Ramses II to proclaim how magnificent he was. When the Aswan Dam was built in the 1960s, the temple would have been flooded were in not for a feat of modern engineering which moved the temple piece by piece to higher ground. Its both an amazing temple, and a fantastic piece of engineering, just a shame that due to security regulations, tourists have to travel in convoy, and the place is packed and bustling. Its a 3 hour drive, so a long way to go for an hour, and then three hours back, but some astounding views as the sun rises over the desert. On the way back to Aswan, we stop at the High Dam, which created Lake Nasser and a hydroelectric plant which powers most of the Nile Delta.

Later that afternoon, we board our felucca - our home for the next couple of days. Its proper back to basics, sleeping under the stars, washing in the Nile, no showers, no electricity sort of trip and is utterly relaxing. We've a good mixed group travelling - couple of Aussie blokes, 2 Belgian women, a Dutch guy, a Chilean girl who teaches English in Paris and our Egyptian crew of 3. Our food is prepared in a space about 3 ft square, and there is always enough to go around. Its utterly relaxing gently sailing along the Nile reading and lounging in the sun, chatting about nothing in particular, and drinking beer. It gets a bit chilly by night, but falling asleep looking up at the stars cannot be matched, and the colours as the sun sets and rises have to be seen to be believed.

We're a bit exhausted and desperate for a shower when we get off the felucca on Saturday morning at Kom Ombo. There are a couple of temples to see en route to Luxor in the bus that is waiting for us. Kom Ombo temple and Edfu temple. We're a bit worn out to fully appreciate them, and are pleased when we get to our hotel in Luxor despite our driver's best efforts otherwise, and insistence on a tip! We're pleased to find a 3* comfortable hotel, with a roof top swimming pool where we can snooze away the afternoon. The rest of our felucca group are looking for a bargain hotel room, so we're feeling a little bit smug.

Luxor gives the first impression of being a resort town. As we enter the city there is the KFC/Pizza Hut combination that we saw at the entrance of the Pyramids. There's an Irish and an English pub advertising football, and a lot of Europeans pottering around. We have dinner in a restaurant run by Anne from Ipswich who tells us all about her family, and where she lives, the sizeable UK ex-pat community (which generally seems to revolve around middle aged women coming to Egypt for younger men, and then getting fleeced out of their savings, only to fall for the same trick from another guy) but does serve up some decent apple crumble! Sometimes home comforts are in order.

Sunday is to be spent on the West Bank of the Nile (the main city is on the East Bank). We have a tour guide with us for the first time on the trip, and despite initial misgivings (Jim) we actually quite appreciate what he has to say as it brings together a lot that we have seen already. The West Bank was used as the burial grounds in Ancient times, and life continued on the East. The thought went that as the Sun rises in the East this is where life begins, and the transfer to the afterlife starts with the sun setting in the West. Our first stop is the colossus of Memnon, two huge statues that stood at the entrance to a later destroyed temple. They are pretty colossal...

Hatshepsut Temple is our second stop. Queen Hatshepsut was a bit of a one. Desperate to rule over Egypt, she faced a major problem in that she was a woman. Undeterred by this, she managed to ship off the 10 year old King Tutmosis III to learn a bit more about the world, and by persuading the rest of Egypt that the sun god inhabited her father at the time of her birth, she was actually the son of a sun-god. All the monuments of her depict with a man's body, she wore a false beard etc., and everyone was fooled, and she ruled for about 20 years. Anyway, her funerary temple is stunning, and tells lots of stories - her trip to Somalia, all about her being the son of the sun god. The Egyptians used natural dyes mixed with wax and egg white, and some striking colours remain to this day.

Next stop is the Valley of the Kings. This is an astounding collection of tombs, of which 62 have so far been discovered. The most famous of which is Tutankhamun - famous as it had not been looted and all the treasures were there to be taken and displayed in the Cairo museum. We explore three other tombs, which have survived the passage of time amazingly well. The designs of gods, hieroglyphs and stories that they tell are fascinating. Pharoahs began to build their tombs here from the day that they rose to power until they died, meaning that some tombs are vast. Once they died, there were 70 days to finish off the tomb while mummification took place, so they are often quickly finished off. The colours on the wall paintings and hieroglyphs are amazingly strong here - the tombs tell a similar story, of the Pharaoh travelling to the afterlife - a 12 hour trip (i.e. during the hours of darkness) along a river until they reach a kind of Ancient Egyptian Pearly Gates where their heart (the only organ left in the body during mummification) is weighed against the feather of Horus. If it is heavier, then a lion-esque monster eats it up, and its no afterlife for them, but if their heart is lighter, then off they go to the afterlife. Anyway, its all a bit mental, and their tombs would have been filled with weapons to kill off demons on their 12 hour boat trip, games to keep them occupied, all sorts of gems and treasures so they generally have a jolly good time. Excavations are going on while we are there - its an ongoing working archaeological site, eternally hopeful that another tomb like Tutankhamun's will be discovered, complete with all its treasures.

The Valley of the Queens is a short drive away. These tombs are not just for Queens, but also children, some of whom died much younger. They aren't as vast as the King's, but still have a good story to tell. Its been a long morning, so we are happy to get back to our hotel and snooze away the afternoon. Downtown Luxor is a bit more authentically Egyptian with dusty streets, souks, and a large number of Egyptians trying to relieve us of our money. Not quite as may as usual, as Egypt are beating Cameroon 2-0 in the African Cup of Nations, but still plenty are around to tell me that I am a lucky man to have Luce on my arm.

The next day, our final in Luxor we have morning by the pool surrounded by leathery old female expats, who have a smattering of Arabic between them, and all have some comment about their Mahmood or Mustafa. We're really quite surprised that this sort of Brit, normally seen in the Chinese restaurant on the Costa Del Sol has colonised this part of the Nile - our tour guide later tells us that the area where our hotel is located is known as Little Britain... In the afternoon, we're off to Karnak Temple, one of the most impressive temple sites in Egypt. Its a combination of about 4 temples that were added to, knocked down, rebuilt ad extended some more over about 1500 years. One room, the Great Hypostle Hall houses 135 enormous columns and is a site to behold. They filmed a James Bond here (not sure which - but it wasn't Quantum of Solace.) We're too templed out to go around the Luxor temple, so pop off for supper in a great restaurant called Jamboree, and back home to chat with our smiley hotel staff (we still don't want to pay extra for a room until our 1030pm pick up to catch our night train back to Cairo)

The train is slow and painfully late. We'd booked first class, but its not in the same league as the train down here, and we are jammed in uncomfort. We arrive late into Cairo, but there is nothing spoiling as the flight to Mumbai does not leave until 325am the following morning. After a spot of lunch, we decide to go to the cinema, and catch up on WB's latest release Body of Lies. I hadnt really paid much attention to it before we left, so didnt know the whole story. It brings a new dimension to watching a film set in the MIddle East about the ongoing war in Iraq when you're sat in the middle of the region in an audience of Arabs. Its a great film though, really thought provoking, and a good way to kill a couple of hours. We're looking forward to getting out of Egypt. Its a fascinating country with some outstanding monuments, temples and tombs. The ancient Egyptians truly were an amazingly intelligent race of people, and we have been at times astounded and amazed at their ingenuity and accomplishments. We're less keen on modern Egyptians though, who almost without exception seem to be eternally trying to fleece you out of money, and we have fallen for tricks at least twice that we know of! The last straw I guess has to be a new bottle of conditioner that Luce has bought from a smart looking pharmacy, only to discover in the shower that it has been watered down substantially! Its a great place to visit, and we would recommend it to everyone, but once is going to be more than enough for us. Roll on India, from what we can gather, Egypt will be like a starter in terms of hassle and scams to what we can expect next!

Cairo & Alexandria

Cairo & Alexandria

We've been told by our hotel that the 900am bus from nearby Taba will stop by the exit from Taba Heights development onto the main road. We think that the staff think we're strange getting the public bus rather than signing on for one of the many tours and trips that are offered by the hotel at hugely inflated prices. We're hoping that the bus does turn up, but at about 915, a service taxi puls up where we are waiting saying he is off to Cairo and will take us for about £4 more per person, so we jump in with 5 other passengers. We're on our way through the Sinai desert learning Arabic, and chatting with our fellow passengers about where we are from (Ah London, I like the girls in London) our names (Ah James, James Bond) and other small talk...

The weather en route is a bit out of the ordinary for the middle of the desert, with enormous thunder storms, and so much water, which has nowhere to drain on the roads that were built for the dry. Then we get a huge sand storm, like the worst fog ever, and then just as we get into Cairo the rain is back and everywhere is flooded.

We're dropped at the end of the metro line - its kinda like being in Hounslow, and waiting for the train in the rain. SImilarly to London, its absolutely packed, and trundles along one stop before going out of service and dumping us all on the platform. We let a couple go off full of damp Egyptians, before getting seats on the next one, and are soon in downtown Cairo, and resting in our hotel after a long hungover journey.

Cairo is a chaotic bustling heavily polluted city, crossing the road is like the hardest level on Frogger. We get a taxi out to the pyramids at Giza, and it doesnt feel much safer on the inside... The first view of the Pyramids is awesome, but bit odd as they sit at the edge of the city - not in the middle of the desert, and there is a KFC and Pizza Hut at the entrance. However, up close, they are breathtakingly huge, and imposing - its easy to understand why the Pharoahs built them to prove their power and dominance over their people. The Sphinx also is astounding - built from a bit of leftover limestone from the Pyramid. Its a thought of how on earth could they build these 4500 years ago! The site is rammed with tourists, and also lots of guys trying to get you on their camel/horse/cart. I am offered 50 million camels for Luce. A tempting thought indeed. After a spot of rip off lunch in the shadow of the Pyramids, we head back to Central Cairo for a well deserved snooze!

After the exhaustion of the Pyramids, we trot over to the Intercontinental for a drink in the bar overlooking the Nile (we have to celebrate Sunderland beating Newcastle) and then for dinner in The Birdcage, an amazing Thai restaurant (we have to celebrate Luce's upcoming birthday) Its a real treat to have our favourite Thai food again, especially when its so good, and served exceptionally well. We're liking the idea of budget accommodation for us meaning that we can use the facilities of teh 5* hotels. After a walk along the river banks, with lots of offers of a ride on the gaudily decorated feluccas (or boats to you and me) we're back to earth with a bump and our 0* room.

As we have seen the pyramids in all their glory, it seems only right on Sunday to go the Egyptian Museum, and discover everything that was within. Our hotel is in a great location, only 5 mins walk away from the museum, which is very busy with busload after busload of tourists wandering around. Its an astonishing collection, vast statues to many different Pharoahs and dynasties stretching over millennia. Statues of families, hieroglyphics explaining the defeat of the Israelites in battle. There must be some logic to the layout, but we cant work it out. There is a fascinating room of the mummies, with real mummies from 3000 years ago, wonderfully preserved so you can make out blank features, teeth still intact. All a little scary really - imagine the ghouls from an Indiana Jones movie, and you're about there. We've seen the Tutankhamun exhibition at the O2 in London, but there is still a vast exhibition of antiquities plundered from his tomb in Luxor on show. Jewels, coins and sarcophagus after sarcophagus all extravagantly decorated with gold, painted with unique designs. Its all a bit too much to take in over the course of day, so we head of for a beer and late lunch.

Another evening stroll along the Nile, and dodging cars as we cross the road. There are lots of couples standing by the river, just chatting and generally having a nice old time with each other. Any single guys cant take their eyes off Lucy, and all wish us "Welcome in Egypt." There is not an obvious middle class area which we found in Amman - its just all chaos with cars honking their horns, and people offering us all sorts of anything that we could want, so its a relief to get home.

Monday we decide to leave Cairo, and head North to Alexandria for the day. An ominous web search tells of enormous queues for tickets at the train station, confusion as everything is written in Arabic, uncomfortable 3rd class seating, but the Egyptian rail authority site gives good info on prices and timetables. Even so, we set off a little anxious for the station, and in plenty of time (which goes against everything I believe in) By 8:10, we have our tickets and are waiting for the 900am train. Nothing could be simpler, or cheaper - its £3 each one way on the train, and about a 2.5 hour journey. Bargain. The train leaves on time with fierce air con. Its packed too, and we've definitely been on grubbier trains in the UK.

Alexandria is a very different city that Cairo, and seems a lot closer to Europe than the capital - not just geographically. Its a university town, with the highest literacy rate in Egypt. This doesnt stop the manic car driving, or the huge interest of the men in Luce. The girls are also besotted with our blond-ness, and we even pose for photo with female student (at her request) The museum is closed, and our guidebook doesnt give any details on the fort on the site of the Pharos lighthouse (one of the ancient 7 wonders of the world) but we still have a great time wandering along the corniche, and through the shopping areas, and enjoying a typical Egyptian lunch of fuul (beans with tahini and salad) shouka (eggs and tomatoes) bread & salad. We both feel that we had a great day out, and pleased that we managed easily on the trains. Tomorrow is our last day in Cairo, and then we head south on the night train to Aswan...