Cairns & Atherton Tablelands (8 - 12 Feb)

The rain is holding off when we land in Cairns, but there are some very ominous clouds floating around the horizon. Cairns is a pretty small town, but there is a lot more going on than in Alice Springs! We spend our first day dodging the rain and pottering around the shops in the aircon-ed shopping mall and wandering along the esplanade. The beach isnt anything to write home about, so I wont, but there are lots of bars - mainly full of young Brits so its like a University campus with a union bar (cheap booze and food for all though!)

Peter & Marie in Perth recommended Agincourt reef to us, so we book a trip to head up there. The weather is a bit overcast, and the snorkelling at the first site isnt up to much - there's a strong current, and visibility is a bit poor. Apparently we're out at the reef at the worst time of the year. So thats good! Still the 2nd site is a lot better and there are tonnes of fish, and some coloured coral too. We're looking good in our stinger suits. Tuesday is cheap cinema day so we eventually get to see Slumdog Millionaire, which is great fun. The scenes in the call centre are completely lost on the Aussie audience, but Luce and I chuckle away.

Next morning, we pick up a hire car and head inland to the Atherton Tablelands - a huge area of rainforest and waterfalls that is mercifully a bit cooler than the coast as its higher. We're staying in an outback town called Yungaburra which is very cut off from any sort of society. There is a little wine tasting place that we spend part of the afternoon - they make wine from various fruits other than grapes as the climate prevents grape growth, We choose the apple and honey wine, and after having a taste of their port and liqueurs (including a delicious macadamia nut) as well, we're pretty sozzled and I throw a glass of coffee booze onto the floor splashing Luce on the way. The only thing for it is to go for a swim in the local lake.

Next day we tour the local area - there are lots of waterfalls and as its the middle of rainy season these are very full and fun to swim in. Its a good change to be up in the mountains driving ourselves, and swimming in freshwater lakes rather than the sea or swimming pools. The tap water up here though is more like a swimming pool - full of chlorine. Luce wont drink it with her delicate palate, and chooses the red wine from the Yungaburra pub instead. After a good session with the locals, we're not felling our best for the 400km drive to Townsville.

Alice Springs & Uluru (4 - 8 Feb)

Its bloody hot in the middle of Australia - and there are enough flies. Completely understand why the Aussies have corks on their hats to keep the little buggers away. Not much to report on the town - its completely isolated with 1000s of kilometres surrounding it before you get anywhere else of note (not dissimilar to Norwich then...) There are lots of Aboriginees hanging around getting drunk and some particularly miserable locals, who mostly seem to work at our hostel

Ayers Rock though is pretty amazing. We've booked a day trip there and back with a company called Emu Run, and its a great day out. Early start though, but the guys who are driving us the 500km are a good laugh and really informative. They've also got lots of snacks and iced water which is really good as its the hottest day ever - must be abut 42 degrees. Sunset is fantastic - the colours changing through red, brown, while the guys treat us to a BBQ and endless champagne. A top day out, even though its a 1000km round trip!

The rest of the time we spend in Alice doing not a lot, but enjoying the sunshine as Cairns, where we're headed next, is experiencing huge floods!

Western Australia (31 Jan - 4 Feb)

Even though we're in Oz, India still looms large for us - our taxi driver from Perth airport is about to head home to Delhi the next day to meet the girl who his parents have chosen for him to marry for the first time, and as long as they like each other the wedding will follow soon afterwards. We've been on a proper flight with Qantas who provide free booze that we've tucked into so are full of excitement chatting to him.

Once we're checked into the Youth Hostel, which is basically student halls of residence accommodation, we call up my long lost family - my mam's cousin Peter lives near Perth with his wife Marie, and they promptly come and collect us and take us out for Chinese supper with their eldest daughter Ellie and her husband Michael. Its great to meet them all, and they are truly kind and welcoming - back at Peter's house, he has a photo album from his childhood in India (he is 85) where his father was stationed. Its fascinating, the pictures from 1928 - 1931 and passports from the same era - including a photo of my grandfather as a chubby schoolboy. They also to offer to drive us around the next day, which we are thrilled to accept.

Perth is a compact city, with a couple of skyscrapers and a great park on a hill looking over it all. Its great to see it all from the air-conditioning of Peter's car, as its over 40 degrees outside. After a run up the coast to Scarborough (much nicer than the one in N Yorks) Peter and Marie drop us in Fremantle for a wander around and some fush and chups. Its the Sunderland/Newcastle match that evening, and the cheating Geordies cheat a draw.

The next day we hire a car and head further south to Margaret River. Its about a 3 hr drive, and we stop off for lunch at one of the best beaches we've seen - Cape Naturaliste. I was hoping for some naturalists, but the few bathers who were there were fully dressed.

We're signed up with Wine for Dudes for a tour of the local vineyards, which is a great day out, getting slowly and slowly less interested and capable of distinguishing the wines from the 3 vineyards. The guy John who is driver and guide is a good laugh, and the whole tour is definitely to be recommended - as is the rose from one of the vineyards. Cant remember which one, but we had a bottle of it back at our hostel with dinner, and then some vodka, so the next morning we werent feeling quite the ticket for a 730 drive back up to Perth airport to fly over to Alice Springs...

Phuket - Kuala Lumpur - Kota Kinabalu - Singapore (21 - 31 Jan)

Phuket - Kuala Lumpur - Kota Kinabalu - Singapore (21 - 31 Jan)

Its an early start to the airport in Bangkok, but we make the Air Asia baggage allowance with room to spare, so stuff in as much as possible. We're really happy to get back to the beach, and our hotel, CC Blooms is a little gem. Tucked up in the hills behind Karon beach, we're away from the sea front and all the tourists. Scandinavians seem to have the Phuket market sown up, but we do also come across a couple of seedy British men who are out here with one thing on their minds. Anyway, up in the hills we lounge away the afternoon by the pool, and then pop down to the beach side for supper at one of the restaurants recommended by our hotel. The next couple of days pass by in a similar vein — beach and dinner at either Kata and Karon. The beaches are possibly the nicest we have seen, but most of the world seems to share that view and a lot of them are currently on holiday getting in our way.

All too soon we are on our way again, flying down to Kuala Lumpur. It's ridiculously hot and humid and we pop into shops on the basis that they have severe sir con blasting onto the street. It's a very modern city with plenty of skyscrapers and chain stores (even Nandos) but also retains some sort of exotic. Malaysia is a Muslim country, and a majority of women dress accordingly covering their heads. There is also a major Indian population, and we head first for a wander around Little India. We're thrilled to be back amongst Indians, with the Bollywood soundtrack blaring out, Indian snack sellers on the streets (mmmmmmm banana chips) and the head waggling. So we go and have an enormous curry. Its authentic enough, but we forget in our air conditioned bubble that its 36 degrees and 80% humidity outside. Not good conditions for stuffing your face.

The next day we are down at the twin Petronas Towers early to pick up tickets to go up to the sky bridge that joins them. There is a limited supply and you have to get there early. We're assigned a time to go up (all way to efficient to what we are used to in Asia) and have time to pop over to the other KL Tower, which isn't as tall, but as you are allowed to go right to the top, and its built on a hill, you end up looking down on the Petronas. Still following? Anyway, it's a great view from the top all around the city, which is surprisingly small. We also get a look in at a little zoo on the way down and it's feeding time for the snakes as a mouse is put into the tank with them. Its barbaric, but hugely addictive watching snakey toy with little Mickey. I guess in the wild they just finish them off there and then, but in the tank, they have nothing better to do...

We fall in line at Petronas, at the assigned time, watch some info film that is basically an ad for Petronas (they're an oil company like BP) file into the lift up to the sky-bridge, wander around for our allotted 8 mins, and are then summoned back to the lift back down. Its all a bit odd really, and the view is not a patch on the KL Tower - at least it was free, and the buildings themselves are pretty amazing. Floors 1-5 are a huge shopping mall, with good air-con, so we potter around, and decide to kill a couple of hours in the cinema. Probably under normal circumstances I'd not enjoy Yes Man, and cant stand Jim Carey but having not seen a movie for so long, it's a bloody hoot. We spend the rest of the day wandering around Chinatown, but its Chinese New Year, so everything is closed. After a spot of dinner at a local hawker stall — about £1 for chicken noodles or fried rice its time for bed.

3rd Air Asia flight and still no problems, and we're nudging 17 kg each now. Our place in Kota Kinabalu on Borneo is 5 mins walk from the airport. That's probably its best point too — that and the wifi. Its more humid here than in KL, but at least it isn't raining, according to bbc.co.uk we'd be soaked in those 5 mins. We see a bit of dragon dancing for Chinese New Year in the town, but are stumped when trying to get to see orang-utans. All the tours are booked up — probably as its Chinese New Year, and there are lots more tourists here. Seeing orang-utans was the main reason for coming to Borneo, so we are a bit disappointed at our wasted journey, but at least it gives us a chance to do nothing and save some of our budget back — which we duly do — and get ahead with planning for the arrival in Oz, which is fast approaching!

Last stop before Oz is Singapore. It feels like we've really missioned around this part of SE Asia, and probably tried to fit in too much. It feels like we zipped through Cambodia, and didn't really get a feel for it, and maybe another day on the beach in Phuket would have been nice, but we're here now, at our last stop.

"A very sensible place" is how Luce describes SIngapore - its clean and tidy, littering and spitting are forbidden - there are no tramps or beggars, and everything seems to work smoothly. It also means that there isn't a great deal to see or do, but we enjoy pottering around the city, and are happy to have checked into Little India once more. In fact, first stop is for a masala dosa (we've learned from KL not to have enormous curry for lunch.)

Luce manages to swan into Raffles hotel with no problems but they have quite a strict policy of no shorts/flip flops for men only it seems. No singapore slings in sight sadly. Our time in Singapore continues to revolve around food as I want to go for chilli crabs, and have a recommendation from 2 separate sources for the best crustaceans in town. Frustratingly though the Lonely Planet suggests that the East Coast Seafood Centre is a lot easier to find than it actually is. SHortly before we kill each other we admit defeat and head back to the centre to try and find option 2. This Chilli crab hut is equally as difficult to find, so tired and exhausted and not a little cross, we stop and have some delicious supper (still chilli crab, but at a non lonely planet restaurant) and a well deserved beer.

Next day is the Chingay Parade - Asia's biggest street parade, and as camp as row of tents. We do really enjoy it though as its full of dancers and performers from all over the region so we have dancers from India, Thailand, Malaysia, China, Japan and local dragon dancers - its almost like the curtain drawing on our time in South East Asia. FInal stop is for a burger in Raffles, just to remind us where we are from, and where we are headed next...